Manipulating the Game
TheTrials and Tribulations of a RelationshipTHE GAME
The game, for those of you who don't know, is something played between prospective mates. It's seen more often between men and women than any other combination. In essence, it is a struggle for power and dominance through petty use and abuse of another's and your own feelings.
I doubt that anyone is immune to the game, because even if you refuse to play, you are reacting, and by reacting, you are playing. The game is not a necessary part of a relationship, but it is a self-made problem to fight through. For those couples that survive the game together, their relationships are generally stronger because of it.
The game is simple. One person begins the game and before the other realizes it, he or she is in the midst of it. Let us, for the sake of the telling, say that John starts the game. He, for some reason, is insecure that Susan, the girl he's falling in love with, feels the same way. He begins the game by devising a plan that will make Susan lower herself to a diminutive position, establishing John's power over her. John then proceeds to use this to force Susan into revealing all of her inner secrets, including her feelings for him. This, of course, was his prime objective. Now that he knows, John has to choose. If John is still insecure with himself, he worries that he will be hurt by Susan if he allows the relationship to change, and therefore either breaks up with her or tries to keep his power over her. If John has gained security and feels that he can't lose power, he allows the relationship to change and reciprocates his feelings. And that is how it goes.
For me, I knew the game before I experienced it firsthand.
I don't play games of this sort. I feel that it is easier and less painful to you to be honest and straight forward about your feelings regardless the risk of injury. If I have feelings for a girl and I feel that she might reciprocate (i.e. I have a chance), I'll tell her how I feel and allow her to decide. Trouble arises when I can't do this.
THE BEGINNING
So let me start the story, now that I think I've explained my perspective on the game, and let me tell you how, in this instance, I am both winning and losing a game I refuse to play.
I don't remember when I first met Sonja, but I've been told it was at a party at Asheesh's house (875). Apparently, I made an impression on her though, because she asked Shyams about me that evening. Of course, Shyams, being both my good friend and her good friend (they've known each other since high school), thought it would be good to hook us up.
I could tell you exactly how Sonja acted around me or how she looked, or smelled, or what she did that was so endearing to me, but it would be a waste of my time and yours because every poet has said it before. Whatever it was that attracted me, it did, and still to this day, despite what my friends say, I think she's out of my league (i.e. too good for me). She could do much better than me, which perhaps is my own self-esteem issue, but I think it's just blunt honesty. However, that didn't stop me.
After several parties at which we made each others acquaintance and a few group outings at which we were both present, I was informed by Shyamlee "It might be in your guys' best interest to hang out with Sonja more... especially you, Ben."
BULLSHIT ALERT!
I was surprised. In fact, I'm still surprised, but I guess I came off favorably enough and she couldn't resist my amazing charm. I mean, everyone knows I'm gods gift to women and none can resist my pheramonial glory.
THE BULLSHIT HAS PASSED, PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR MORE AT 11.
Anyway, after hanging out several more times, I proceeded to patiently wait for the right moment to ask Sonja out. The right moment is always when you say goodbye that day, because that way, if she says yes, you can leave and not have to worry about the awkward silence, and if she says no, you can save face and slink away to your despair. Occasionally, this plan backfires and she'll be caught off guard and end up postponing an answer. Luckily for me, Sonja said yes.
Now, here is where I'm supposed to point out my ecstatic and euphoric return home, but I'll spare you the flowery crap that most people tell you. I was happy. And then I was sad... I was dumb enough to be so happy, I forgot to get her number. I felt like an idiot.
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